8.1935

26 in 1961 46

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elegant women. I was lucky that my search for en- lightenment led me to a book on impersonation, and correspon- dence with the author led me to TVia quite early in its his- tory. The first issue I saw was No. 5, with Annette as Cover Girl, and the magazine was both a revelation and an in- spiration to me. I subscribed immediately, wrote to as many correspondents as I could con- tact from its pages, and, as noted above, appeared myself as Cover Girl by the time is- sue No. 8 appeared.

One of my correspon- dents was Irene, of Toronto, and we soon found a rapport which resulted in my enrolling for post-graduate work at the University of Toronto, and shar- ing a flat for a year with Irene. This was a most important experiment, as I had by then discovered the lady with whom I wished to spend the rest of my life, and it was essential that I find out how import- ant tv was to my life. The way I could see was to take up life for a year in a city far from home, where I could live virtually as I wished, and give my inner femininity real freedom for the first time. It was

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an interesting experi- ment. Not only did I meet some of the tv's who have ever since remained among my best and closest friends, but I found that unlimited freedom led to my tapering off my periods of dressing to a point where I dressed quite seldom, and usually only for specific social occasions. Irene and I followed a fairly standard pro- cedure whereby I would escort Irene on one occasion, and Irene's alter ego would escort Fiona on the next. Only on rare occasions such as our visits to the famous d'Eon resort, or on Halloween, did we both go out dressed at the same time. How cautious we were! Now I go anywhere

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and do virtually anything, with- out a monent's qualm, whether I have an escort or am alone or with a girl friend (real or tv).

My year in Toronto was successful scholastically as well as personally, and I returned to Australia, married, and set about my career. I tried, at this point, to give up tv completely, as I thought it would be better for my family if I could do so. Alas, despite having prided my- self on my willpower, and my ability to set my own course in life, I was not able to de- stroy the feminine component of my psyche, and within a year of my wedding day I was in such poor psychological shape that I found it necessary to confess my transvestite com- pulsion to my wife. She was extremely upset by the re- velation (despite the fact that she had seen me perform as a female impersonator in amateur revues), and there were some very bad days immediately fol- lowing. It is, however, entire- ly to her credit that she reason- ed herself to the point where she came to me and said that it was obvious that whatever made me a tv was part of the person she loved, and that we would work together to make our life work despite a situation she could (quite right- ly) see as a complication and a social hazard. Since then we have had a wonderful marriage, with me not indulging Fiona as often as I might wish, and with my wife, not objecting to the occasional feminine fling. Like most aspects of a good marriage, we live by loving compromise. Our children do not know of Fiona, and I see no reason to complicate their lives. with a problem which is not theirs, at least until they are adults. On the other hand, most of Our friends know (and like) Flona and nobody I have ever told has ever rejected. my other self.

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My real development as a tv, however, started with my return to the United States after a few years of marriage and the birth of my first daugh- ter. I lived and worked in the Pa- cific North West, and became active in the FPE Chapter based in Seattle. They were a wonderful group, led by the inimitable Marilyn, and I still look back on the mad parties of those days with particular affection. One of of the best things about the Seattle chap- ter was their realisation that life did not have to be com- pletely soul-searching and ser- ious. Seattle parties were fun, with wives very much a part of the scene and all kinds of light-hearted foolishness and co- mpetition. Fiona Fiona learned to comeout of her introspection, and also out in public on a few occasions. She thought herself very daring when she allowed a tv friend and his wife to drive her from Seattle to Port- land, and even more daring when she posed beside the car as her host repaired a flat tire on the freeway! By the time we moved to the east coast to take up a post in a New Jersey college, Fiona was much more self-confident and had, I think learned a great deal about the art of appearing convincing as woman. The greatest advantage is self-confidence. If you feel real, who will doubt you?

In the New York area there was even more activity, and for the first time I found myself attending the commercially ar- ranged drag balls of NYC. Of course these were mainly design- ed for the gay community, and our group usually formed a small island of relative normal- ity in a seething sea of feathers, sequins and aggressively sexual behaviour. Very educational! I also learned how to say 'No,' politely but firmly...a lesson every girl needs to adsorb sooner or later! a point gives leann at 16, and some TS's are s shocked by!